for the love of vogs

where the MotleyFlue gather

Confessions of a Fluevog pusher

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When the ladies of the MötleyFlue call me Generalissima, they’re not lying. It’s true. I texted Gladys at 4am (her time zone) urging her to invest in the Inge boots that were posted on eBay. When I saw those gorgeous olive one-of-a-kind boots on the FlueMarket in Shirley’s size, I immediately sent her the link and demanded she contact the seller, STAT! Of course, when the Malibus received its latest markdown, I totally put Dorothy on blast in this post, begging her to visit the dealers that day.

I know I can be aggressive sometimes. However, I like to think I’m doing the gals a favor by making their days shine brighter in the greatness of Fluevogs!

Admittedly, I worked in retail for over twelve years. Therefore, I know a thing or two about sales tactics. I mention this, not because I know how to sucker someone into a sale, but because I can tell when someone is trying to sucker punch me (and my friends). You haven’t experienced buying cosmetics until you’ve watched me tell the uber-aggressive person behind the counter to back off, because I’m the ruler of my debit card!  This is why I’m known as the Generalissima. I shop with a definite plan and I don’t hesitate giving the hardline when it comes to helping others make Vog decisions.

Yes, get the Malibus.

I say hold off on investing in the (insert Vog here), and pay rent this month.

Of course I’ll help you develop a good Flue-nancial plan.

Don’t make me put you on FlueLent!

If you forego your daily latte, I’m sure you can pay off the Liz in no time!

Um, do you really need another pair of black boots?!

You didn’t just ask me if those Vogs make you look fat, did you?! (slap!)

“I told you. No wire hangers, EVER!” 

When it comes to Flue-tail therapy, my policy is this: I’ll tell you what you need to hear. Be prepared because I’m not a fan of false compliments or lies for the sake of making you happy. If I don’t like something, I’ll tell you. If it doesn’t work, I’ll tell you. If the Vog does nothing for you or your collection, I’ll tell you! I am too old and don’t have time for for anything less than what my gut is telling me. (Maybe this is why I’m the Generalissima.)

Admittedly, I live vicariously through the MotleyFlue and friends. I can’t afford everything, and if I did, I wouldn’t want to own every Vog that I fell in love with. Watching others shop gives me pleasure. It’s like I’m Santa Clause, but without having to fork over a single dollar:)

With that, I proudly remain the Generalissima, pusher extraordinaire of the MotleyFlue. Need Vog advice? Feel free to contact me. I have no problem giving an objective, honest (sometimes harsh) opinion:)

For the love of Fluegasms,

j-ro

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Author: jlrondilla

Joanne L. Rondilla, is a scholar, writer, and educator (not necessarily in that order). She received her Ph.D. at UC Berkeley in Ethnic Studies and her B.A. in Art Studio and Asian American Studies at UC Santa Barbara. Her research focuses on beauty, race, gender, the body, and colonialism. She is the co-author of "Is Lighter Better? Skin Tone Discrimination Among Asian Americans" (with Paul Spickard) and the co-editor of "Pacific Diaspora: Island Peoples in the United States and Across the Pacific" (with Paul Spickard and Debbie Hippolite-Wright). Born and raised in Dededo, Guam, Joanne considers the San Francisco Bay area home. Outside of the academy, she has more than twelve years of work experience in the cosmetics industry as a skincare specialist and make-up artist. While she's not an Imelda Marcos fan, Joanne does love her Fluevogs!

2 thoughts on “Confessions of a Fluevog pusher

  1. as “The Addict,” i have definitely been put on FlueLent (though it wasn’t called that then) by the Generalissima! lol, the last one killed me. wire hangers????

    love ya, Generalissima! my collection thanks you!

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