A few weeks ago, I introduced you to the elusive Fluegasm. Today, I introduce you to a related condition: FlueBalls. Here you go….
FlueBalls: a temporary state of pain and frustration that is caused by denying oneself from the joy of Fluevogs. Temporary numbness followed by acute pain in the lower extremities of the body may ensue. Other symptoms of FlueBalls include: (1) random yelling of swear words (2) occasional furniture throwing (3) binge chocolate eating (4) frequent after-hours visits to your local Fluevog store to gaze at the display window (5) obsessive Fluevog site stalking (6) vehement declarations of the selfishness rich people (Seriously, Mr. Trump?! You have $5 million to spare for the president’s college records, but you can’t throw a few hundred dollars my way for a delicious pair of Fluevogs? Believe me, my happiness is a worthy cause…. It’s okay. I’d hate for my collection to be tainted by Trump $$ anyway. heh.) (7) and many, many more violent acts of craziness. This condition is universally experienced by all who long for a delicious pair of Fluevogs, yet choose to deny themselves of such pleasure.
The only known cure to FlueBalls is to purchase your desired pair. Once said pair is purchased (or put on layaway), the heavens open, angels sing, and a cute puppy finds a loving home.
If alleviating FlueBalls isn’t enough to convince you to get a pair, then please, do it for the puppies!
Happy Holidays from the MotleyFlue!
Living life feet first.