FlueBalls

November 23, 2012 by jlrondilla 3 Comments

A few weeks ago, I introduced you to the elusive Fluegasm. Today, I introduce you to a related condition: FlueBalls. Here you go….

FlueBalls: a temporary state of pain and frustration that is caused by denying oneself from the joy of Fluevogs. Temporary numbness followed by acute pain in the lower extremities of the body may ensue. Other symptoms of FlueBalls include: (1) random yelling of swear words (2) occasional furniture throwing (3) binge chocolate eating (4) frequent after-hours visits to your local Fluevog store to gaze at the display window (5) obsessive Fluevog site stalking (6) vehement declarations of the selfishness rich people (Seriously, Mr. Trump?! You have $5 million to spare for the president’s college records, but you can’t throw a few hundred dollars my way for a delicious pair of Fluevogs? Believe me, my happiness is a worthy cause…. It’s okay. I’d hate for my collection to be tainted by Trump $$ anyway. heh.) (7) and many, many more violent acts of craziness. This condition is universally experienced by all who long for a delicious pair of Fluevogs, yet choose to deny themselves of such pleasure.

The only known cure to FlueBalls is to purchase your desired pair. Once said pair is purchased (or put on layaway), the heavens open, angels sing, and a cute puppy finds a loving home.

If alleviating FlueBalls isn’t enough to convince you to get a pair, then please, do it for the puppies!

Cure your FlueBalls and save a puppy.
This image was island-style borrowed from here:
http://nickstraffictricks.com/3300_free-one-way-dofollow-backlinks/.

Happy Holidays from the MotleyFlue!

Living life feet first.

j-ro

*Okay. Maybe we can’t guarantee that a puppy will find a home. But we are pretty certain that good things will happen if you cure your FlueBalls.

Author: jlrondilla

Joanne L. Rondilla, is a scholar, writer, and educator (not necessarily in that order). She received her Ph.D. at UC Berkeley in Ethnic Studies and her B.A. in Art Studio and Asian American Studies at UC Santa Barbara. Her research focuses on beauty, race, gender, the body, and colonialism. She is the co-author of "Is Lighter Better? Skin Tone Discrimination Among Asian Americans" (with Paul Spickard) and the co-editor of "Pacific Diaspora: Island Peoples in the United States and Across the Pacific" (with Paul Spickard and Debbie Hippolite-Wright). Born and raised in Dededo, Guam, Joanne currently works in Arizona, but considers the San Francisco Bay area home (and goes back as often as she can). Outside of the academy, she has more than twelve years of work experience in the cosmetics industry as a skincare specialist and make-up artist. While she's not an Imelda Marcos fan, Joanne does love her Fluevogs!

3 thoughts on “FlueBalls”

Gladys
December 5, 2012 at 12:13 am

love it! ok, i have another request for the vogtionary: the warm and fuzzy feeling you have when you’re wearing vogs even when no one else can see them, and you have to look down every so often during the day just so YOU can see them and feel the dopamine explode in your brain. 😉

- jlrondilla
  December 5, 2012 at 3:08 am
  
  Are you thinking something along the lines of FLUEUPHORIA?
  
  - hardheadedwoman
    December 5, 2012 at 7:06 am
    
    yes! though maybe just fluephoria (for ease of pronunciation). 🙂 love this. you rock at fluevog neologisms!